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Open Season For Hunters: The Toolshed

Steve Tool Story by posted on March 7, 2013. Filed under Opinion and Editorials. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

I don’t know how many times I’ve been driving around town and had to avoid hitting deer crossing the road. Each time I’m sitting there fuming, an old saying of my dad’s runs through my head: “You didn’t see that B.S. in my day.”

I’m not sure what’s happening with hunting these days. When I was a kid over in Snot Creek, deer did their damnedest to stay out of the way of humans.

Even does had to keep an eye out. When logging shut down, many loggers had mouths to feed, so no deer could count itself entirely safe–even out of season.

It’s a problem in other places as well. I spent several years going to college in the Rogue Valley, and it’s just as bad over there. I guess there’s no sport in it.

This is probably the reason some people have resorted to hunting humans. In February, an Oregon man, Eugene Collier, was tried on manslaughter charges after shooting a man he mistook for a bear.

Collier’s “victim” was a 20-year-old Marine Corps reservist, Christopher Ochoa. Of course I use the word “victim” in the loosest sense.

It took a Salem jury less than two hours to clear Collier of manslaughter charges. Are you kidding me?

If Collier was a drunk driver and killed someone in a car accident, he would have rightfully spent years in prison. In fact, I’ll bet Collier’s “punishment” is less than if he had illegally shot an elk.

A similar case in Maine permanently soured me on NRA membership. The NRA staunchly defended a man who shot a woman—twice— while she hung family laundry in the back yard.

His excuse was that he thought she was a deer. Worse, this man was also cleared of manslaughter charges and did not even have his hunting privileges revoked.

Yeah, I’m all about paying membership fees to defend the Second Amendment rights of some dumbass who can’t distinguish a deer from a human at 180 ft.

I don’t know about these guys, but the hunter’s safety courses I attended in my youth emphasized holding your fire until you could clearly identify your target and had a clear line of fire.

On the bright side, this is good news for people on both sides of the political aisle. If a secessionist, tea party-er, communist or environmentalist gets on your nerves drape an arm around their shoulder and invite them on a friendly hunting trip.

Trust me, the deer will thank you.

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